ANG PAGMAMAHAL
Before I started my mass in one barangay, while having a seminar here in Immaculate Conception Parish, one of the organizers of the seminar approached me gladly. I listened to him after telling me that he had something to say. He said: “Father, how hard it is to love.” Other church goers heard what he uttered. I reacted with a smile and responded; “Is that so? It is difficult to love if you do not know and if it is not wholeheartedly expressed.” He added that what makes it difficult is that if the one you want to love is unworthy of your love. As it is said “it is also difficult to love someone who himself is unlovable, who is more concerned of himself and does not care at all. He is only after himself; an egoistic person.”
This observation will bring us to reflect on the reality of love. Our reflection will be divided into four parts. We will give emphasis on the teachings of the Holy Scriptures and the point of views of one of the doctors of the church, St. Augustine, and of John Paul II and a contemporary view of the Golden Rule as basis of love. At the end, I’ll share some thoughts about our reflection and our love for God and neighbors.
I. Love in the Sacred Scriptures
God created man because of love. He created man because God wants to share what He has and what He is. He wants to share each one his own nature, that is, love by sharing. Out of his own words, God created everything in six days, from the land to the heavens, vegetation, animals and fishes of the ocean. Indeed, God showed his love by creating everything. And God said it was good. Everything He created is good and each one has its own purpose and end.
Man is the summit of God’s creative love. From the rest of creation, he is different. He is formed out of an already existing matter, namely, the ground. Moreover, he was created unto God’s own image, different from the rest of creation. And God was pleased upon seeing the rest of creation and chose man to master over the rest of it. Man was given, from that moment onward, to subdue and take care of God’s creatures. Furthermore, man is unique from the rest since life was given him out of the breath of God. It was divine life that was shared to man thus making him different from the rest of creation. And God loved so much man as the summit of his creative act.
Despite man’s fall, God continues to love him.
The relationship of God and man is a story of fidelity and infidelity. Out of man’s weakness and pride he wanted to become like God who knows the good and the bad. The history of the chosen people Israel continued this infidelity of man to God’s goodness. The covenant that was established by God and Israel has been a story of man’s fall and God’s continuous support of love and understanding to the weakness of man and his constant infidelity and questioning. Yet, God has always understood man and gave him all the chances to learn, to renew and change his life.
The Shepherd, a model of true Love
The image of the shepherd is a concrete example of true love. He is devoted to his job and unselfishly tends his sheep. He protects and takes care of them even to sacrificing his own life. During the cold winter night he looks for a warm place as cave and like a loving mother places them into a safe confine of the cave. The shepherd is a sign of sacrificing love.
There are two kinds of shepherd, the good and the bad. The bad one does not care; he is after the pay for his doing. When wild animals come to devour the flock, he runs away and leaves behind the sheep. He could not care for more except for his own self protection and pay. A hireling looks for the money; it is a profession for him. Unlike the good Shepherd who does the opposite. For him, shepherding is not a profession but a vocation. He is always prepared for the good of the flock. When an unusual sound of a disturbed sheep is heard, immediately he attends to its needs and looks after its welfare. When wild animals come to destroy the grazing flock, with a staff and slingshots on hand, he drives away the attacking wolves and sacrifices his life for the sake of the flock. The good shepherd is neither after the pay nor for the material well being given him. His life is a constant dedication and sacrifice and willingness to love the beloved flock.
The good shepherd is a leader and companion. He is a strong man who defends his flock against wild beasts and at the same time he is gentle with his flock; he knows their condition and adapts himself to their needs. The book of Ezekiel [34:11-12. 15-17], echoes the goodness of the good shepherd and thus attributed to the love of God to his people. God after having failed to his appointed kings of Israel to perform their shepherding to the chosen People of Israel, He claimed to himself the title of a shepherd. Thus, Yahweh became the Shepherd of the Israel. Everything depends upon the shepherd. He is fully in charge and people entrust their sheep to his care.
Christ is the Good Shepherd
Christ is the good shepherd. He is not just the real, the true shepherd who comes up to the definition, to the essence of shepherd. He is not only an agathos shepherd, i.e., morally good shepherd, he is a kalos shepherd, a shepherd who is attractive, winning in whose presence one feels at home. He is not only efficient and faithful, but gracious and a friend to all. As a good shepherd Christ never asked for any payment or return for offering and sacrificing his life. What characterizes his life is a calling, a vocation, that is to say, a constant fidelity to his mission and loving obedience to the Father’s will. He is a shepherd who never tires on the weaknesses and shortcomings of his flock. He is always meek and humble, ever loving and ever ready to extend a helping hand to the needy flock.
Christ laid down his life for us. He is a good shepherd who loved so much humanity that his entire life was dedicated until it reached the sacrifice of the Cross. Probably no other picture is more favorite than this, at least in Christian times. It would be the same as the modern picture of the Sacred Heart. He became true to his own word: “Nobody has a greater love than the one who lays down his life for his friends.”
God bestowed on him the greatest expression of love, His only Son inspite of man’s sinfulness. “And the Son of God did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself becoming obedient to death, even death on a Cross.” This kind of humility and putting himself unto the human form is said to be a greatest expression of love. This would imply therefore, that anyone who loves so much would place himself unto the level of whom he loves most even at the stake of sacrificing one’s position in life or his own social status. When one loves most, he does not mind his own good but focuses on the goodness of the beloved. It is a way of giving his life because of love. Furthermore, when one loves most, he will do everything to please and make happy the object of love. It is one’s happiness that he loves and gives the most to the beloved. Indeed, this is the essence of love, a total self-giving for the sake of the beloved.
The Commandment of Love
“You shall love your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with your entire mind, and with all your strength,” this is the greatest commandment, according to our Lord Jesus Christ. And the second, as he continues to say: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” It implies therefore that the foundation of love of our neighbour is our own self. Does this axiom mean selfishness or selfish love; or does it mean we give much importance to one rather to others? What does loving one’s neighbour as oneself really and truly mean to us?
The act of loving is easy when it is part and parcel of one’s life. Most of the time, we give due importance to a feeling when it comes from the self itself; there is always relevance and due importance whenever it comes from oneself. There is always a sense of urgency since it is part of oneself. Whenever it is part of oneself, the needs is very easy to understand since it is not far nor distantiated from one’s being. Thus, the foundation of loving one’s neighbour is oneself since it is easy to do because there is a sense of urgency and immediacy.
Whenever a relationship is absent or someone is a stranger to us, there is no urgency to look into him and thus importance is hampered. No immediate response is bestowed when one is a nobody [di-kaanu-ano] to oneself. That nobody is disregarded and set aside to one side. Attention is wanting and concern to that nobody is a foreign word. By in large, it is regarded that everything in this world, every creatures God made are important yet when it is not part of oneself, there is not much care and concern shown. In this regard, it is of prime importance therefore, that giving value to something or someone in particular would necessitate treating others as part and parcel of the person himself. A nobody becomes somebody or someone when there is an intimacy that exists between the beholder and the thing or person beheld.
When the Lord Jesus Christ said: “You shall love your neighbour as oneself,” he is saying that its foundation is the very person himself who has always been the object of God’s love since he was created by the Almighty. Why, when it is part of oneself there is always an inner urgency to give importance and priority to it. When one has become the basis of love, there is more facility to loving others. Loves becomes meaningful and more sublime since its fruits are enjoyed both by the loving person and the object of such love. As a consequence, when one loves his neighbour like oneself, there is no craving for selfishness but rather what is most emphasized is the value of the beloved who is equally compared and similarly treated like oneself that is the basic foundation of how to give due importance to such expression of love. Furthermore, since no one will aspire nor desire for one’s misfortune, when one loves his neighbour as oneself, there is deeper reason therefore to love others since he will always look after the good of his neighbour like himself who does not want any bad thing to happen to himself or oneself. In other words, if anyone aims to have a good and peaceful life then, by loving one’s neighbour as oneself, he does the same and aspires the same to others as well.
II. THE HOLY SPIRIT, THE BOND OF LOVE
St. Augustine, one of the greatest Western Fathers, has been called by God in a very extraordinary way. His experience became the foundation of his profound reflection on God’s love to man. Out of God’s goodness, a sinner like Augustine has been transformed into a new man, a man who has become an object of divine favor. Augustine’s story of conversion became a classic example of God’s love to a sinful man. Reflecting on this experience, Augustine was brought to the Spirit of Christ who was the cause of this kind of love. His teaching on the influence of the Holy Spirit became a basis for his pneumatology fully founded on his experience. Thus, the Holy Spirit is the vinculum caritatis, the chain of love diffusing far and wide to every man and favorably given to those who are in need of it, that is to say, the sinful man.
St. Augustine taught that the Holy Spirit is the fruit of love between the Father and the Son. The divine pneuma is the bond of love. Augustine called him the ‘vinculum caritatis” when God the Father willed to reconcile the fallen humanity through the sacrifice wrought by God the Son. Such act manifests an eternal love binding together and thus eventually cemented the relationship between the divine and the human. The sacrificial act of the incarnate Son in obediential love to the will of the Father led to the fullness of redemptive act in love of God to humanity. It is the chain of the loving Father that through the reconnection of the sacrificial Lamb who is Christ led to the procession of the Third Person of the Trinity. That chain of love is the Holy Spirit, the fruit of love of the Father and Son to the fallen humanity. Consequently, God continues to love man in and through the Holy Spirit. The living Spirit is the proof of God’s endless love to us. And through the spirit of Jesus, a true love is expressed.
III. MERCY: GOD’S GIFT TO HUMANITY
The foundation of the Church’s teaching is the very life and teaching of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Established and instituted by Christ, the Church continues this Tradition and tradition since the time of the apostles up to the present time. And the Church and its ministers will remain faithful and will continue preaching Christ and his teaching to the world and the rest of creation.
One of the most important teachings of the Church is contained in John Paul’s encyclical letter Dives in Misericordia Dei. The Pontiff said: “God showed his love in the form of Mercy.” According to the Pope, because of sin, God showed His mercy in order to reunite man to Himself. God’s love to man becomes deeper through the Paschal Mystery of Jesus Christ.
God is full of mercy. And even man lacks response; God still shows an endless mercy to him. He does not allow the people to worship false gods for He is the one and only God. Moreover, he sees the goodness in his creation. According to St. Paul the true essence of love is the sympathy and mercy one gives to those who need them. It is also the dream of our Pope that civilization of love dwell in the societies we live where peace and justice reign. It is our wish that brings love and unity all over the world and between different sectors of the society which aims to achieve the true meaning of love for everyone.
IV. THE GOLDEN RULE
We were taught since our childhood the Golden Rule: “Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you.” This axiom has since been learnt and taught in the schools and even inside the cycle of family life. It has become a magna carta of Good Manners and Right Conduct for everyone. But have we ever gone into an in-depth reflection of the Golden Rule? Have we ever asked what it really means both in our lives and the implication it carries in our Christian life? Does the axiom mean to expect payment to the good deeds one extended? Could we interpret it within the context of Filipino’s utang na loob? In other words, am I doing something because I am expecting something in return for the favor I did to others? Will there be other reason for doing something good to others?
The Golden Rule points to an act that is reciprocated by another action. It means that I am doing this because you have also shown that to me. Meaning, I do good things so that you may do good too to me as well as to others. Thus my action is aimed at getting you to conform your action to mine. And so the motive is ultimately the self- interest in the good action that you returned to me. It is selfish indeed because its foundation is one’s goodness: you do the thing because you value yourself. If the basis of doing good things is self-interest and purpose, this means that your action is not wholeheartedly expressed. This is not what we called true love because of the selfish motive. Therefore, this is not the real perception of the golden rule; instead there is still a vacuum that needs to be filled up.
So what is the real meaning of the golden rule? From the Holy Gospel of St. Luke, Jesus preached to His apostles that our love for others like ourselves is the main motive or reason in doing good. The good of the beloved is the aim of the one who loves. What occupies his mind is the best and never the worst of the object of love and thus he gives so much chance to rectify any wrongdoing the beloved inflicted upon the person who loves. This is the picture that has been expressed in Luke’s parable of the Prodigal Son.
To an ordinary man the attitude of the father to this son is impossible to accept without a lover’s eyes. To a person who easily gets tired and angry to the sin of others, it will be hard to accept the event that happened in the parable. It is most unlikely that inheritance is given by the father. It becomes insulting to the personhood of the father knowing that getting the inheritance while the owner is still alive. During that time, asking for his inheritance while his parents are still alive is also the same as saying to the father “I hope you will die so that I will be able to get my inheritance.” It is a great insult, a selfish motive. If you will think about it, the father may not give the inheritance to his son: he may despise his son and let him leave his own life. But the father did not do this in the end; he obeyed and gave what his son wanted.
The parable of the Prodigal Son and a Loving Father is an example of “poetic justice”. It is a way of showing a disposition in the beginning and a judgment in the end. In the first part of the parable, the son bravely and insultingly asked his part in the wealth. It is an insult that must not be done in their culture in their time. The transition in the story begins when the son suffered and asked to go to the field and take care of the pigs. It lets the readers see the justice that has been neglected by the son who came back. To take care of the pigs and eat them are worst things for the Jews. Eating pigs is worst because they consider pigs as the dirtiest animal in the world and it must not be touched by any Jew. They must stay away from them. But St. Luke showed us that the wrong thing that has been done would be paid in the right time and in a worst way. It is like saying to the son “You treated your father like a pig, now you are to be treated also like a pig.” “What has been planted is what will be harvested.” In other words, if a person does not respect or does not care for others, there is a punishment for the wrong thing that had been done.
Let us continue reflecting on the abovementioned parable. Towards the end, when the son realized his mistakes, he went back to his father. Never treasuring any ill feeling against his son but his life was dominated with love and devotion, the Father never missed a day or two looking for the return of his beloved son. Patiently waiting for a familiar figure from a distance to come, the loving father waited and hoped for his son. The loving father felt tiredness and loneliness of the day without seeing his son. Inspite of this, he did not give up. He knew that his son will come back soon to be with him. His patience earned a merit. He saw a familiar figure was coming. He could not be wrong; it was his lost son. He was coming back to him. And the whole town got merry because “his son was lost and now has been found; has left and came back; died and came back to life.”
Not everyone was happy on the younger son’s return. The eldest son could not accept the returnee. Unkind words were uttered by the former to the father while the latter is around. Disturbing words as “when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes you even slaughtered the fattened calf for him” were thrown upon the face of the father. Apparently, the former son treasured ill feeling against the father and he does not treat the younger son as his own brother. Furthermore, the former was not happy with the way his father extended a forgiving love to his own brother. It was an expressed deep seated anger, inner hatred and craving desire to do something he could not even dare to do. Consequently, he himself is lost in his own way.
But again the father showed his love to his eldest son. “My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice because your brother was dead and has come to life again, he was lost and has been found.” The parable ended here. What remains therefore, as it is the style of the Lukan Gospel, is for the readers to continue reflecting and uncover the rich message of the parable; eventually to make their own conclusion? What if the story turns this way: First story. The youngest son comes back, he hears the conversation of his father and his brother, they are debating; his brother does not want to accept him; then he left without their knowledge; such a very sad story. Second story. The eldest son is angry; he does not want his younger brother; he blames his father; he left and said: “I’m leaving the two of you behind and live your own lives, I can’t take it anymore, the way you Father is treating me; you show more favors to him than to me.” Such is another sad story. Third story. The youngest son comes back, the eldest also comes home; he sees his younger brother; he invites him to drink and dance; the youngest son said sorry for what he did; the eldest is glad; they embrace; their father saw them and they hug each other. This is a very good story. I hope that there are understanding, caring, peace and happiness in every family. It is good to see a family that understand and love each other. If there are love and peace, we can really feel the true spirit of love.
To do good therefore does not mean to expect something in return. It is done within the spirit of love and does not mind any pain or suffering or misfortune for that matter. Love drives the person to express it sincerely and fully. When we say therefore “do unto others what you want others do unto you” this means love drives the person fully and really without expecting any return or favor but he is doing it because he sincerely loves for a good favor in return.
Such kind of love is expressed also in Filipino vocabulary. Based and founded on Filipinos experience of love and deep understanding of love, any foreign tongue won’t be able to capture the profound and depth meaning of these words: di kaanu-ano and di na kaiba sa akin. These words are found in the very lived experience of a Filipino and have been enriched by how they understood and expressed what love is for him.
When a Filipino says di kaanu-ano, this refers normally to a foreigner or a stranger. It connotes lack of concern to a person who is nobody for him. In such a case therefore, a relationship cannot be established nor extend any help to him or her since that human being is a “nobody.” When occasions come into the fore, a Filipino will hesitate to extend a helping hand since that person has no value and does not call for any attention much more concern. Since that human being is a nobody the tendency of the Filipino is to avoid him or her. NO value, wanting with importance, a stranger and foreigner as well, such is the man who is di-kaanu-ano to a Filipino. As a consequence, that person does not merit any attention and for that matter, love has no place to express neither care nor concern.
This Filipino attitude towards a di-kaanu-ano could be compared to the expressed attitudes of the Levite and the priest in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan. They did not extend any helping hand to the man who was robbed because he is nobody. Care and concern have not been found since he is a di-kaanu-ano of the Levite and the priest. In the same line of thought, that man does not merit any help or concern for a Filipino who has a di-kaanu-ano relationship with him.
Filipinos have different attitude towards someone who is “di na kaiba sa akin.” The phrase refers to an attitude that has been nurtured and nourished by constant contact achieving a certain degree of deep relationship. An intimate relationship has been cultivated between the two persons who have been bonded by series of events in their lives and made strong by the passing of time which both of them spent together and thus enriched by intimate friendship and camaraderie. This emotional bonding has been propelled by deep knowledge of each other’s weakness and strengths impelled by a spiritual union that only person who has deep understanding of human intimacy and knowledge had thoroughly achieved. A person becomes di na kaiba when a special kind of union and bonding have been established between them.
A person becomes di na kaiba sa akin when a Filipino fully and really understood the man. Human weakness is transformed into a mature treatment of human understanding driven by love. Sacrifices are borne for the sake of the beloved person and greater space of understanding and outstretched mind and heart dominated the person who is di na kaiba sa akin. His main focus and main preoccupation is the good of the beloved or the object of his care. The willingness to express love and concern is supplemented further by strong desire to love him with the love of Christ, the Good Shepherd of humankind.
When someone does good act, therefore, he should not expect anything in return. It is done because of love. It is love that motivates him to show and to do good things. Hence, when we say “do unto others what you want others do unto you,” it expresses loving without expecting any return or favor but rather he is driven out of goodness and impelled by the power of love.
CONCLUSION
Love is for everyone and each one is to love others, whoever he or she is. Love does not look into the social status of the person or the economic status of the person but it looks into the person and is not selective. It extends even to one’s enemies as shown in the Gospel on the parable of the Good Samaritan. In the Old Testament, love is first and foremost shown by God and He continuously showed it to the rest of creation and His love to His creatures. The life, teaching and the sacrifice on the Cross of the Son of God is the greatest manifestation of what love and how should it be; that is to say, to lay down one’s life for the sake of the beloved. The concrete example of love is the Blessed Trinity, whose unity showed the real meaning of love, sharing inspite of uniqueness each one possesses.
Man’s humanity is the basis of God’s love and man himself should show this love to others. His care, concern and respect is a manifestation of man’s love to others, since, he himself is an image of God, created out of the already existing matter. Man’s beginning is also his end but added with the greatest expression of divine assistance, being loved by God himself. His love should not become a source of abuse or ill treatment towards others when man himself achieved a degree of goodness and fortune. His blessing should become rather a source of inspiration and expression of mercy and love to others by sharing such wonderful grace the Lord bestowed upon him.
Any expression of true love by man or in whatever way he expresses it, would be beneficial to others and himself. His goodness will always be commensurated by God’s goodness who sees and looks into the innermost being of man’s. And for those who achieved this status and stage, eternal life would be the ultimate reward. Thus, our love leads towards eternity and an everlasting life with God.
Inihanda ni:
REB. P. RENATO M. SAPUNGAN
Kura Paroko ng Inmaculada Concepcion
Boac, Marinduque
